A New Year

As I've come to be accustomed to in this crazy life of mine, time has been flying by, and here we are in 2012.

Typically, the holidays are a time to slow things down, leave the "grind" of daily life behind, and reflect on the times and memories of the past year. For me, this holiday season was about as much of a frenzy as any typical day. But, fortunately, reflection for me is something that rarely ceases, as I find myself constantly reflecting on the time I've spent in a given day, week, month and the way I've spent it; the things I've managed to accomplish or missed out on; the tasks and goals that still remain burning in my mind and my plan to arrive at them; and of course, the people I surround myself with during all of this.

And, conveniently, as it's nearly 1:00 a.m. and those ambitions and tasks are weighing on my mind too much for me to sleep, I've finally got a chance to slow down enough to be able to put these reflections into words.

Frankly, I find the concept of the New Year a bit skewed. It seems to have become such a symbolic 'turning point' in the lives of many. And while I do like the symbolism of a "fresh start," so to speak, I question why it has to be so heavily associated with the New Year. Why not tomorrow? Why not right now? If you want to change something, or "start over," it seems there is no time like the present. But alas, it seems we get so caught up in the ebb and flow of our daily lives that sometimes we become unable to take ourselves out of context for even just a brief moment to assess whether we're really in the right place with what we're doing each day. So if the New Year provides a chance to do this, and a motivation to create change if it's warranted, then so be it.

I also find that the New Year seems to embody a sense of "leaving the past behind." I'm not a big fan of this notion. In my opinion, we should embrace the past -- good or bad -- and carry it with us as we move forward.

And that's exactly what I'm planning to do with my new year: reflect on this past 365 days, what it has brought me and the lessons it has taught me, and carry those lessons, that progress and those memories with me as I journey ahead.

Looking back on 2011, I think it's easy to say I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked, but maybe I just need to look at it differently. Athletically, I missed out on some of the goals that I set for myself, but far surpassed others. I did not qualify for the 2011 Ironman World Championships in Kona. I did not break the 2 hr. 20 min. mark in an Olympic Distance Triathlon. I did not get to compete in my first Xterra, as I became injured and missed nearly two months of racing.

I did, however, break 11:30 (11:20, in fact) in the Ironman distance, and place top-10 among all women in the same race (Vineman 2011). I did achieve a new PR in the Olympic distance (2:21:50). Most recently, I did come back from an eight-week running hiatus due to injury and turn in a huge PR in the marathon, running a 3:15:24 at the California International Marathon in December. This alone was an incredible achievement for me, and more importantly a major breakthrough in my running and racing. I far exceeded my goal and even my own expectations and beliefs of what I could achieve in this race. I felt great throughout nearly the entire run -- a definite first for me for the marathon distance, and undoubtedly the most amazing aspect of the day. As I ran through miles 18-24 (my usual breakdown period) feeling strong, I was literally in total disbelief of what my body was achieving and the way I was feeling. I was probably grinning from ear to ear as I ran, totally in my own element, and on top of the world.

Sometimes it really just all comes together. And even -- okay, especially -- when it shocks the hell out of you, it feels amazing. Indescribable, really. I'd say having that sensation alone, of being totally impressed by and in awe of the capabilities of my own body and mind, is a major achievement in itself. I had this feeling more than once this past year. Most notably, in the CIM as well as in the Vineman in July -- two of the best races of my entire life. That right there is something to smile about. But there were other accomplishments too. Smaller, perhaps, but still significant in their own way.

I raced less this year than I have in the past, but I definitely raced better. Perhaps I'm finally learning the lesson that 'more' isn't always the right answer. I missed out on several races, and months of running, due to my injury, but I learned to be okay with it. I gave so much of myself to the sport of triathlon this past year. I trained hard, and with heart, and desire. I never let myself give up. I struggled some, for certain, but I pushed through, and I really do believe that I persevered. I improved as an athlete, significantly. But most importantly, I had a great time. If nothing else, this past year absolutely solidified in my mind my love and passion for athletics, the place they maintain in my life, and their presence at the center of my being. I feel more confident than ever that I am doing the right thing by investing so much of my time, my effort and myself into my athletic pursuits. Day in and day out, they have carried me through this past year, and I could not be more thankful.

As I think about 2012, I am excited to continue to act on that passion, and see what I can do with it. As you might have predicted, I'm also not a huge fan of the 'New Years Resolution' concept. But I do believe strongly in ongoing goal setting, and again, perhaps the changing of the calendar provides a good time to re-focus on our goals, and what we need to do to really accomplish them. Yes, I want to go faster. But I have much to achieve en route to doing so.

Naturally, I know that I need and want to train both harder and smarter. I want to race more challenging fields and perform better. But I also know that, for me, improving my athletic abilities also means that I need to improve other aspects of my life. My training and racing are just one piece of an interlocking puzzle that sometimes seems so tough to fit together. So yes, while I want to bike more, swim harder and run faster, making that puzzle fit is my overarching foal for 2012; my resolution, if you will.

Balancing the many facets of life can be so much more difficult than it sounds. I want to write more, and reach more people with that writing. I want to be a better coach and help my athletes achieve more. I need to earn more financially, in order to make this life sustainable; though I don't necessarily want to. I need to learn how to juggle four jobs along with training and racing, or find a way to let one take over and lessen the load. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with thinking about all I am trying to accomplish and the fact that it can seem so unrealistic. But yet, somehow, I am still optimistic about what is to come. While I may struggle sometimes, I know my heart is in the right place, because I am pursuing my passions.

For now, all I can do is continue giving 100 percent, keep believing in myself and my goals, and hold out faith that things will fall into place when the time is right. I don't know for sure whether that will be in 2012, but I'm going to move forward into this year with my head held high, carrying the lessons, failures and achievements with me as a foundation, and continue progressing. Because, really, what else is there to do?

Gratitude

As usual, things have been exceedingly busy since late November and Thanksgiving. At the risk of sounding cliché, it's truly been a whirlwind, between prepping for my final running race, getting ready for ski season and starting my winter coaching gig. But even though the holiday has passed, I wanted to take a moment and reflect on the meaning of Thanksgiving -- gratitude -- as it applies to my life now.

It can be easy for me, as I think it is for most people, to get caught up in feeling bad about my situation, or worrying or stressing about the things I don't have, or haven't accomplished. As a constant striver, I think that, despite setting short-term goals, I can become dissatisfied about not being where I ultimately want to be just yet. But I think it's immensely important -- if at no other time than the holidays -- to take a good, hard look at all of these things we do have, and acknowledge just how blessed we really are.

Okay, so I'm scrambling to balance four jobs and still just barely squeaking by (or sometimes just missing) on the bills every month, while still maintaining and working toward the goal of becoming an elite professional athlete: not exactly the ideal scenario. But, it's what I've got, and I've got to work with it. And really, in the grand scheme of things, "what I've got" in fact makes me pretty darn fortunate.

For starters, let's consider the fact that I can dedicate myself toward such lofty athletic goals, seemingly 'unrealistic' or not. I am able-bodied, healthy and happy. I am able to train long, hard hours and push myself to levels beyond the comprehension of your everyday 'average joe' walking down the street. And through everything I've done, and all the years I have trained and competed, I have stayed (relatively) healthy. Now that is a blessing.

I can run, with my own two legs -- and run far! I can escape into nature on my own accord, leaving life's stresses behind. I can chose to run slow, or go fast. I can bike up mountain passes, over peaks, across creeks and meadows or along coastal roads. I can go anywhere, really, and all on my own capacity -- provided that the two wheels stay pumped up. I can swim across lakes, and feel the water on my face and between my toes. I can ski on virtually any terrain, whether in sunshine or among falling snow. To be able to do all of the things I am capable of -- even if not yet at the level I am hoping to reach -- I am so very grateful. I know there are others who long to simply be able do these things. So thank you, to my healthy, strong and capable body, for enabling me to train, push and compete. Thank you for taking me on incredible adventures, to unbelievable landscapes and to new heights some others may never reach.

And thank you also, to my mindset, for being as 'crazy' as you are. For being crazy enough, as most people say, to let me actually enjoy working out, getting stronger and faster, because I know this is a struggle for many. In fact, you are crazy enough to make me long for a sweat, dissatisfied without it. I can think of few things I'd rather do. For this, I am truly grateful. And thank you also, mindset, for being crazy enough to remain idealistic and maintain your desire to chase down these dreams that sometimes seem unattainable -- even if you do prove to be unrealistic. For my mind's ability to stay positive, focused and determined, I am grateful. I know this will only continue to make the difference for me, time and time again.

I am grateful, too, for the overwhelming support and positivity that surrounds me. While my training situation may be unideal in some ways, it is absolutely exceptional in others. For one, I am lucky enough to live in an incredible community. Trails are plentiful, adventures abound, the scenery is breathtaking and the weather is amazing. The training options here in Tahoe are unparalleled, all year long. For that, I am incredibly fortunate. But beyond the terrain this place has to offer is the community behind it. Truckee is full of incredible, passionate, active people. It's inspiring and uplifting to be surrounded by so much talent, dedication and passion. I am consistently impressed by this community. And on a more personal level, I couldn't be more fortunate than to have the family and friends that I do. From company on my adventures to encouragement during my races, I receive so much support, both physically and mentally, from those close to me -- even when they are not around. I carry that support with me, and it pushes me through the tough moments, and makes the triumphs that much sweeter. I could not ask for more.

But above all, I am so very grateful simply to be able to be this passionate about what I am doing, and the goals I'm pursuing. I know many people search a long time to find a true passion. I have undoubtedly found one, and it is the fire and desire in my life, day in and day out. I can't imagine my life without the passion I have developed for athletics, and all of the gains I have made as a person from the pursuit of my athletic goals. I don't know that gratitude can really quite describe the feeling, but it is definitely a start.

So as the days go on and I continue reaching for more, working for more, and desiring more, I will strive to remember my gratitude for the foundation from which I am working. Because for that, I am truly blessed.

This pretty much sums it up... Life just couldn't get much better!

P.S.... I am also grateful for my most recent race result! Race report coming soon... stay tuned!

Listening, and Accommodating

As athletes, we are planners. We are always looking ahead, driven by the future. If we want to do well in a race in May, we start planning and preparing for it in the fall; if we're winter sport athletes, we're "made" in the summer; and even though we have no idea what will come into our lives in three weeks, we've got our training plans already laid out for that time. Planning ahead, particularly when it comes to a training/racing schedule, is crucial to being a top-tier athlete. But so too -- and much less discussed -- is the ability to steer away from that plan.

When we make a training plan, we plan on the notion that our bodies are healthy and our souls content. In the weeks leading up to a big-race taper, we prepare ourselves to push beyond what we've done before, to endure pain along the way, and become stronger athletes once we reach the other side. This is a necessary process to improving ourselves. But when our bodies aren't in that healthy and happy state, we just cannot treat them the same way and expect the same response. We absolutely need to listen. And, as simple as it sounds, this listening, and the consequential "backing off," can sometimes be one of the hardest things we as athletes have to do.

I got a pretty good taste of this lesson late this summer/early fall as I dealt with the injury to my foot. I learned to embrace the rest from running as a chance to improve my bike and swim, and of course to heal my body, but it was not easy. And now, after working so hard to come back to form with my running, and just when I was rising back to top shape before my December marathon, last week brought yet another setback.

As usual, my plate has been beyond full these past few months. As I try too wear more hats than can truly fit on my head, I have become increasingly overwhelmed, somewhat stressed, and of course VERY busy. Naturally, my body is not a fan, and last week it spoke up loud and clear to tell me that I needed to slow down. During what was supposed to be one of the biggest weeks of my race prep, I came down with a terrible cold. The coughing kept me up at night, and my head throbbed during the day. And as tempting as it was to just push on through, wanting to complete my two hard interval sets for the week along with my distance workouts, I decided to listen to my body, and accommodate it. With everything else I already had going on that week, I was wearing myself down plenty just by checking the tasks off of my to-do list, including several trips down to Reno for some broadcast work and numerous early mornings. The interval days came and went, and while I naturally wished I was out there, I knew I was doing the right thing to rest.

By the next week, I was feeling much better, and sleeping through the night. And after the rest, my body was raring to get moving again! I came back this week and put in a solid long run along with what was undoubtedly my best interval set since coming back from my injury. Despite missing the days last week, I am still finally reaching the level I have been hoping to get to since I first started running again in late September, after an eight-week hiatus. After decades of hard athletic training, it seems I'm finally learning the lesson of listening to my body, and altering my schedule to accommodate its needs. And this time, I got it right. And my body responded fabulously.

While we plan ahead as athletes, and line up the perfect plan to get us to peak form by performance time, we can't always foresee what else will happen in our lives beyond the training. Life brings unexpected challenges. Sometimes one task gets added to the already-expansive "to-do" list, and it becomes too much. Our bodies get tired or we come down with an illness. While these things are inconveniences for certain, they are not deal-breakers. We can come back from a week of not having the time to get in our training hours, or getting sick and having to take days off. But only if we listen, and respond. Our bodies truly do know best. So if they're trying to say something, don't block it out! Listen. And accommodate. Despite altering your plan, you'll be doing yourself -- and your body -- a huge favor in the long run.

Despite last week's setback, I've been having a blast out there this fall, being able to train each discipline and really focus on running in preparation for the CIM. Below are a few photos from some of my recent sessions.

The view from atop Tallac cannot be beat!

Gus is pretty much stoked to be heading up Tallac!

Big training days require big (and delicious) breakfasts...

No kick-stand needed when there's snow on the Flume!

Awesome view from the top of Yogi, one of Tahoe's amazing mt. bike trails!

Two of my favorite training buddies, Shasta and Levi on top of Yogi.

Tommy enjoying the view.

Loving the fall colors!

Break time from the long run with Remi and Levi.